I remember this day in particular. It was during our youth service in the church I fellowship. I don’t recall the preaching in full, but something caught my attention. The preacher stood at the pulpit, his eyes scanning through the congregation as he talked about soul ties. (I chuckled softly to myself.)
I’ve never been one to be overly superstitious, but it made me pause. What did he really mean when he spoke about it? Was he saying we should stay in unhappy relationships and shape-shift ourselves to adapt? Or was he warning us not to even try love unless we were completely whole?
That conflicted me.
Because healing isn’t linear. And love doesn’t always wait for us to be “fully ready.” Sometimes, we walk into something beautiful still bandaging our bruises. Sometimes, we show up smiling—while quietly bleeding.
But the truth is: love doesn’t erase pain. It reveals it.
And I’ve seen it. People loving through their trauma. Dating while broken. Entering situationships hoping to feel whole again. But what ends up happening? We leak on people who didn’t cut us. We become mirrors of the wounds we never sat with. And in trying to outrun our own pain, we pass it forward—wrapped in affection, need, or temporary connection.
So I ask: Are we loving? Or are we bleeding on each other and calling it love?
Healing is hard. It’s uncomfortable. But so is pretending you’re okay just so you can be chosen. So is giving when you haven’t even found yourself again. So is attaching out of loneliness, then feeling empty when it all fades.
Some people never leave us, even when they’re gone. They stay like a haunting presence—echoes of what we didn’t resolve. Maybe that’s what the preacher meant by soul ties. Not just spiritual cords, but unprocessed pieces of ourselves still wrapped around someone who hurt us—or someone we hurt.
So maybe the better question isn’t “Should I date while healing?”
Maybe it’s “Am I aware of what I carry—and what I might be handing to someone else?”
What do you think?
Have you ever found yourself dating while healing? Or felt like you were carrying someone else’s brokenness? Let’s talk—because healing is personal, but we don’t have to do it alone.
